Dining etiquette: 5 tips to dining confidence

In the movie Miss Congeniality starring Sandra Bullock and Michael Caine, there was a scene where Sandra Bullock’s character was chomping down steak at a fine restaurant, at which Michael Caine’s character was appalled and remarked, “I’m sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.”

Such etiquette gaffes are not constrained to Hollywood movies. At a formal dinner in Kuala Lumpur recently, a second generation business owner not only erroneously claimed the bread on her right as her own, she chided the guest on her right who had touched the bread roll, “The bread is MINE!”. For those of us who sometimes will have problems remember which bread is yours and which drink is yours, the simple left “b” and right “d” hand [see picture] are fool proof discrete reminders in times of social emergency such as these.

Bread and Drink

 

These two scenes nonetheless reminds us that dining etiquette plays an important role in your personal and professional lives. However if you do not have access to a Henry Higgins or a Harry Hart, you are not doomed to be an uncouth Eliza Doolittle or Eggsy Unwin forever.

Here’s five easy tips to dining confidence:

  1. Think you have impeccable manners already but want to have a check? Eat alone in front of a mirror. If there are any half-masticated cows rolling around in your mouth, you will see it.
  2. When in doubt, watch the others on the table. Not sure which knife or fork to use? Watch what the majority on the table does and follow.
  3. Be sensitive to cultural norms – a quick google search will help if you are going to be in an international dining environment: for example, Westerners rarely share food off their plates unless its family style dining, Muslims eat only with their right hand, Chinese frown upon chopsticks stuck upright, Japanese do not use soup spoons, to name a few.
  4. Eating is not a race neither is it a solo journey: Do not start eating until everyone else’s food has been served, unless you are urged on; and try not to be the first or the last to finish on your table as it will hold the rest of the table back.
  5. Last, if the food is hard to eat; you will have to make a mental trade-off in your mind of whether you are going to make a mess or leave the food. Foods potentially to avoid during a business setting are french onion soup (imagine how you are going to break the gruyere cheese crouton with your soup spoon), steamed artichokes, crabs, fried chicken or even sloppy burgers.

And with that you’re equipped for your dining “Ascot”.

Bon appétit!

[Metamorphic Training offers bespoke presence and confidence executive coaching for C-level suite and candidates by senior ex-C Suite officers with international Fortune 50 experience. For more information, please email enquiry@metatrainings.com]

Motivation

If you love your job, you have every reason to be excited when you wake up everyday. Your passion is what motivates you to move forward in your career. There are, however, times or days when you feel demotivated to go to work, especially when work becomes mundane and you keep on procrastinating on your tasks. So what do you do when you find yourself stuck in this situation?

 This article by Edmond Lau clearly explains that your level of motivation depends on the type of goal (either mastery or performance) that you attach to it.

Building habits

Blog photo

“Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

Like Rome, habits cannot be cultivated overnight. Likewise, bad habits are just as hard to eliminate. Fortunately, with sheer willpower and consistent practice, it is possible to build new habits and get rid of old ones.

For most of us, we create New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of each year, some of which include going to the gym more often, eat less and so on and so forth. As for me, my goal was to wake up earlier every morning to do yoga. Last year, I gave myself excuses for not waking up earlier than I should and as a result, I can barely touch my toes. This year, however, I started to form a habit of waking up in the wee hours of the morning to do yoga and for the past few weeks, I’ve been able to not only touch my toes, but also do a backbend.

Growing up, I’ve been told that it takes anywhere from 21 days to a month to form a new habit. In my opinion, this idea holds true for people looking to form simple habits such as eating a fruit a day or greeting one person that you meet each day. Other habits, such as sticking to a diet or going to the gym at least three times a week, are more difficult to maintain and take longer time to form because there are many distractions as well as other priorities that can get in the way. More often than not, these habits may require you to make changes to your schedule and lifestyle.

It takes a lot of discipline and patience to build and maintain a habit. Below are some ways that can help you form a new habit, both in your personal and professional lives:

  1. Identify your goal and write it down

It is better to pick a habit that you want to build and work towards it one step at a time so that you will be more focused in achieving what you have set out to do. It can be overwhelming if you want to build too many habits at the same time and you may be discouraged when times are tough. Write down that goal and put it at a place where you can see it everyday to remind you of it.

  1. Start now

Don’t wait until tomorrow, next week or next month to start forming the habit, even if it’s something as small as running for ten minutes today. It will make you feel a whole lot better knowing that you are one step closer to fully developing your new habit.

  1. Break your goal (building a new habit) into smaller goals

When you break down your goal into smaller, achievable goals, it is easier to keep track of your progress. Write down your progress to see how far you’ve come and how much further you need to go to achieve your goal. If you want to wake up an hour earlier in the morning, start with setting your alarm five minutes early. In time, you will be able to train yourself to wake up 10 minutes, 15 minutes earlier and so on. If you are not making progress even with the smaller goals after some time, reevaluate what you are doing and make changes accordingly, even if you have to start over or find another way to form the new habit.

  1. Recognize your challenges and find solutions to each problem

You will definitely encounter some challenges in building new habits such as skipping your workout because you’re too busy or too tired to wake up earlier. You start giving excuses and if prolonged, you will become demotivated to build that habit that you wanted. In this situation, you have to be aware and acknowledge the challenges that you are facing and the reason that you are giving excuses. Once you’ve identified the challenges, try to find solutions to each problem. For example, if you are too tired to wake up early, ask yourself why are you too tired. If it is because you are overworked at the office, consult your supervisor to see whether anything can be done about your workload.

  1. Have someone hold you accountable

A good support system is essential in helping you to form a new habit. For example, if you want to make running around the park as part of your daily routine, it will be much easier for you to execute that plan if you have a partner or a group of friends who are willing to run with you. You will not only start cultivating the habit of running, but you’ll build a great relationship with the people around you.

  1. Reward yourself

Give yourself credit at the end of the day, week or when you have achieved one of your smaller goals by taking yourself out for dinner or buying an item that you really like. If things don’t go the way you expect them to be, cut yourself some slack because you are not doing this for anyone else – you are doing it for yourself. So enjoy the journey and never, ever give up!